Bikini Quotes

Conquering the world one bikini at a time

Thursday, June 30, 2011

LOVE - M E T I M E

Time to unplug from technology and life and spend a little quality time with yourself.  Kick back, relax and soak it all in.  No phones, emails, face book. If you want to read, bring a real book, turn the pages yourself, dog ear the page you leave off on and when you are through, throw that book into your bag- don't worry you won't damage it, it's paper.   I know this sounds a little self centered but it's all about me, me, me.  It's the ultimate recharging of your batteries.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

EAT - B R E A K F A S T

An egg a day?  I do, with toast and lately I've been adding avocado and tomato. Amazing.  Since I don't eat a "regular" dinner I make sure that I get my protein early in the day.  One piece whole grain bread, an egg cooked anyway you like, but I like mine slightly over medium, and fresh veggies.  Tomorrow I am going to mix it up a bit and add sauteed spinach and mushrooms - oh and maybe a little grated, melted Swiss cheese.  Yeah, that's how I do it.

Monday, June 27, 2011

LOVE - L A U N D R Y L I N E

Fresh air, warm sun, gentle breeze wistfully air drying your lovely sheets, dainty underthings and such.  Hold it close, inhale deeply - can you smell the sunshine?

Sunday, June 26, 2011

EAT - S T R A W B E R R Y S H O R T C A K E

I am a serious sucker for all things strawberry, but the pièce de résistance for me is my Mom's Strawberry Shortcake.  I live eat and breathe this all summer long.  Breakfast, lunch and dinner and snack and oh yeah, just for the hell of it.  

Saturday, June 25, 2011

BIKINI - 1 0

Yeah, I wish I was looking like a 10 in my bikini.  But the sad fact is that I am not.  We've all heard of the "Freshman 15" but have you heard of the "restaurant 10?"  The restaurant 10 is the ten pounds that you gain due to working nights in a restaurant.  It just creeps up on you and your not sure what's going on and boy has it creeped up on me.  Eating late night, drinking late night is a bad combo.  Of course, when I finally get off work and home I am ravenous.  The last time I ate was at 4:30 and it's now approaching the midnight hour.  Hubby has been kind enough to save me dinner and it is always extra cheesy, mayonnaise, fatty, delicious.  Add an ice cold beer and the hunger beast is satisfied.  A little late night T.V. and I am out like a light.  This is not good. But, I am not alone in my mysterious weight gain. My co-workers have also told me their ten pound stories and how they got back to their fighting weight.  Eliminate the late night beer/wine and make healthier late night choices, like a bowl of cereal or a salad.  I also have incorporated mini meals into my daily routine as well as bringing snacks to munch on right before I head home.  Apple slices, string cheese and almonds all take the hunger pains away.  So, bye bye ten pounds, don't wanna  see you, don't wannna be you.  Hasta la vista baby.

Friday, June 24, 2011

LOVE - S U M M E R

Summer.....lovers.  Need I say more.  Stolen kisses behind the snack bar, cool nights at the bonfire, watching sunset.  So sweet, so unforgettable, so summer.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

EAT - C A R A M E L A P P L E S

Plump, tart granny smith apples covered in gobs of smooth caramel.  Sweet, sticky, mouth watering caramel apples.  You bring the apple closer, mouth open, teeth poised and then you bite. Softly at first savoring that first bite.  Each bite rapidly becoming bigger, stickier, sweeter than the first - and then it's over.  Eyes glazed over, you take the back of your hand and slowly wipe your mouth. Toss the core and go about your day.  Pure unadulterated bliss.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

BIKINI - S C R U B

Summer is finally here and I need a complete overhaul and fast.  When was the last time you did a total body exfoliate in the shower or tub?  My poor spa scrubby thing hangs from the shower head taunting me daily, "go on I dare you, just pull me down and buff me."  Listen "scrubby" I would love to give you a little love,  but I am a pressed for time or have a kid banging on the door wanting to know where I am, where did I go, did I leave?  But with summer here that means no more early morning wake up calls and a little more time for me.  So much more time in fact that I whipped up a little brown sugar body scrub just for the hell of it.  It's cool and leaves your skin feeling like butter.


Brown sugar coconut scrub

1 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup sea salt
1 tablespoon of coconut oil 
1 tablespoon of freshly squeezed lemon juice

Mix until you have formed a paste
apply to moist skin - after shower, pool, ocean
gently massage onto skin in a circular motion
Rinse off with warm water.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

LOVE - M A I T A I

Not being much of a rum drinker Mai Tai's have never really been on my drink list.  But all of that has changed.  Last weekend I had a photo shoot with Beyond Wonderful and Mai Tai's were on the list to be "shot."  First I mix the drink, style the drink, shoot the drink then I get to drink the drink!  All I have to say is yum yum rum rum in my tum tum!  This is probably one of the best drinks I have ever had.  I will be mixing buckets of this freakin' amazing concoction of rum all summer long.  Okole maluna!

Monday, June 20, 2011

E A T - A L M O N D S

I hate nuts.  I am a nut hater.  Do not ever try to feed me a peanut, beer nut, walnut or I will puke on you from the smell alone.  But I do love almonds.  and I just found out that almonds are not nuts, but the seed of the fruit from an almond tree - no wonder I like them so much.  So, I have this old black crusty baking sheet that would be an embarrassment if anyone saw it, or knew that I used it all the time and don't even get me started on what my Grandmother would say about it.  French fries, tater tots, biscuits, pizza all have been cooked on this baking sheet.  It's kept in the oven at all times, and I always forget that it is in there when I am pre - heating the oven, until I can smell it - cooking, the sheet that is.  I buy my almonds in bulk, raw, unsalted and roast them myself.  I never really thought about it before until I brought in a small baggie of freshly roasted almonds to work.  As the evening progressed, I shared my almonds with my co-workers who raved about them.  "Where did you get these almonds" "oh my god, these almonds are so good."  Well, I told them, I roasted them myself (feeling just a bit like Martha Stewart in my response).  This went on for nights, the compliments kept coming and when I was asked again about what I put on the almonds and replied "nothing", I just roast them in the oven - then it dawned on me.  It was my beautifully seasoned baking sheet that was making my almonds taste so good.

You want almond facts?  Here are your almond facts.

     1.  20-25 almonds contain as much calcium as 1/4 cup of milk
     2.  Almonds are the best whole food source of vitamin E
     3.  One ounce of almonds contains 12 percent of your daily allowance of protein.  No cholesterol.  
     4.  Most of the fat in almonds is monounsaturated, also known as the "good" fat. 
     5.  Almonds are loaded with minerals like magnesium, phosphorus and zinc, calcium and folic acid 


I buy raw almonds in bulk and roast them in small batches.  Pre- heat oven to 350 degrees, spread the  almonds out on a baking sheet and cook for about 10 minuets.  Now, I normally put the almonds in the oven and go and do something, like vacuum or start a movie or go on the computer.  And then I forget about the almonds until someone walks in the room and says, "what's that good smell?"  I rush to the oven just before I am about to burn the almonds, but I catch it time, every time.  Let cool and put away in a air tight container.  I am seriously thinking about going into the almond business with my trusty crusty baking sheet.















Sunday, June 19, 2011

H A P P Y F A T H E R ' S D A Y

Windsor and Perry Adams, Stinson Beach, Ca
My Dad is, strong like bull, a dancing machine, future famous artist (he just hasn't come to terms with it yet), word maker upper, pipe smoking, good looking, bad ass "mofo", yeah I said it MOFO (in a good way).  I love you dad and everything that you have taught me over the years. 

Love,

xxoo

Windsor

Saturday, June 18, 2011

BIKINI - R I G H T S I D E

What lies pass the huge rock to the right side of the beach is filled with childhood curiosity.  You've heard the rumors and now you and your friends need to check it out for yourselves.  Your young, curious and have no idea what to expect.  Topless girls, bottomless guys  - delighted and or disgusted at the thought.  Curiosity killed the cat, right?  So it's now or never.  Off you go tentatively pass the rock, giggling all the way.  You're there, you've made it to the NUDE beach - hmmmm, looks the same as the left side of the beach, what's all the hoopla?  Now what?  So you do what kids do and you run down the beach, splashing in the water having a blast.  And then in one blink of an eye you're stopped dead in your tracks.  There they are - a whole gaggle of them, like beached sea lions basking in the sun, but these are not sea lions.  You gawk in disbelief, it's like a car crash, you just can't look away, no matter how hard you try.  Lying on beach towels, propped up in beach chairs and just "hanging out" (if you no what I mean) are an entire group of them - we scream, we run, we laugh - this is not what we were expecting.  What were our expectations you ask?  Young pretty topless girls and hunky guys, Yes.  Senior citizen day, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!  Seriously who wants to see Grandpa naked at the beach?  Not me.

Friday, June 17, 2011

LOVE - WHAT I LOVE RIGHT NOW

Totally digging the following:

1)  Purple Bandanna












2) Bonnie Bell Strawberry Liquid Lip Smacker













3) Coconut M & M's












4)Special K Red Berry cereal












 5) Malibu Rum - Yum


Wednesday, June 15, 2011

BIKINI - F A V O R I T E

When I was about fourteen years old there was a dance shop at the local mall.  One day in the window I spied a one piece swimsuit that I had to have.  My Mom took me into the store, asked me if I was sure that this was what I really wanted.  I shook my head yes in excitement and walked out of the store with my new swimsuit.  From the front it looked kinda tame, but when I actually put it on in my room it was a little too much for me to handle.  The back was totally backless and had the thinnest of thin ties holding it all together.  The front was a low v - neck and came in at the sides of the stomach revealing far to much flesh for a fourteen year old girl.  But I did wear that suit every chance I got in a very modest way.  I  remember being at a family friends pool, hugging my arms close to my chest as I walked to the diving board.  Embarrassed and shy, I held my arms across my body in the tightest self hug, got up on the diving board and jumped in arms and legs out - splashing into the water with carefree abandon.  My mom just shook her head and was like "what happened to the self conscious, modest girl who barely made it to the diving board?"  And in every picture I have found of me in that suit, my favorite suit, that made me feel so awkward and self conscious, the suit  that I wish I still had (and will recreate soon), I am fully covered  from the top up.  Check it out.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Monday, June 13, 2011

EAT - J E L L - O S H O T S

Hell yeah, now that's what I am talking about.  Good old fashion white trash Jell-O shots.  It's party season and I almost forgot about these glistening jiggly alcohol packed cups o' fun.  Gone are the days of adding vodka and  rum  to cherry or blueberry Jell-O.  Hold onto your bikini's ladies - Jell-O shots have become sophisticated.  Yeah I said it - "sophisticated." Take classic cocktail recipes and incorporate them into pretty,  Jell-O shots acceptable for a  wedding.  Personally,  I am not really looking for sophisticated when it comes to this delicious treat.  My goal is to pull the classic Jell-O shot out of the trailer park and onto the beach. So, I did a little research, found many awesome websites that had recipes and finally settled on a Pina Colada Jell-O Shot.  Let me warn you, this little wiggly jiggly morsel of tropical tastiness  packs quite the punch.  Slurp with caution!

Pina Colada Jell-O Shot Recipe
3 oz package of Tropical Fusion Jell-o
1 Cup sweetened Coconut Milk
1 Cup Malibu Rum
Dixie Cups or small plastic shot glasses ( I found mine at the Dollar Tree)
Cooking Spray

Directions:  Bring coconut milk to a boil, add Jell-O and stir until dissolved.  Let cool to room temperature.  When cooled add Malibu Rum.  Spray Dixie cups with cooking spray, fill each cup to top.
Refrigerate for 2 - 3 hours

Notes:  The original recipe called for Pineapple Jell-O - I could not find Pineapple Jell-O to save my life so I substituted it with the Tropical Fusion.  Also, the recipe indicated that the coconut milk would separate into a layer, which I thought was cool, but didn't happen. If it works for you Hooray!



Jell-O Shots (Recipe II)[5 cups]
3 oz. pkg Pineapple Jell-O
1 cup canned, unsweetened coconut milk
1 cup Malibu
Bring the coconut milk to a boil. Add to Jell-O and stir till dissolved. Allow to cool to room temperature. Stir in the Malibu. Pour into cups and chill. The Jell-O will separate into layers, with the coconut milk rising to the top.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

BIKINI - T A N L I N E S

Imagine if you will a barren dirt filled, rock clustered backyard with a lone picnic table.  A most desolate undesirable location, but it had hours of sun.  I was a mere teenager seeking the ultimate summer tan. Practically born an albino minus the light eyes - mine are the most dazzling  shade of hazel thank you very much.  Daily I'd trudge down to the backyard with sun tan oil, book and boom box.  I climbed up onto the rickity old picnic table and basked in the hot sun for 1 hour (that was all I could take).  I did a half hour flip from front to back in hopes of turning my winter white skin into a deep dark island tan.  Red is what I was.  Red as a lobster, so not the color I was looking for.  I blamed my English and Irish ancestors, why couldn't we be "black Irish" I wailed in despair.  By the end of the summer I had tan lines - not really a tan but tanner than I had ever been.  September came, school started and I was feeling pretty sun kissed when I heard from behind me "look how white her skin is."  And there sat behind me the two "perfect" girls, (mean girls I might add) with their perfect summer tans.  I cursed them under my breath like any 7th grade girl would, turned around,  looked them in the eye and said "at least I am not a candidate for skin cancer."  Hmmp!

Saturday, June 11, 2011

LOVE - G I G G L E S

Giggles - unexpected, belly gut, pee in your pants, can't stop, contagious, infectious, queasy, light headed, rolling on the floor, tear streaming, quivering fits of giggles.

Friday, June 10, 2011

EAT - C O C O N U T

 Anyway, like I was sayin', coconut is the fruit of the islands. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. Dey's uh, coconut-kabobs, coconut creole, coconut gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There's coconut shrimp, coconut cream pie, coconut milk, coconut ice cream, coconut pancakes, coconut rice, coconut water, coconut cocktails.  If it has coconut in it I am all over it, eat it, slather it, lather it, rub it, drink it.  I am C U C K O O  for coconut.  No really, I am serious.  I seriously can't get enough of it.  Now here are some coconut facts:  Coconut oil has been found to heal cuts, scratches, burns and sunburns. Coconut oil has also been reported to be good as a wrinkle remover and is does amazing things for your  scalp and hair.  And last but not least coconut water is good for kidney and urinary bladder problems.  Got coconut? 

Thursday, June 9, 2011

BIKINI - T H O N G

Did you know that thong bikini's are almost always designed to cover the genitals, pubic hair, anus, and perineum, and leave part or most of the buttocks uncovered?  Nice descriptive words huh?  Very clinical.  I'll never forget the first time I saw a "thong" bikini.  I knew this chick named Rena - she was an underage cocktail waitress from some exotic state - maybe Florida.  She was cool and rumor had it she wore a "thong" bikini to the beach.  Tan, blond and oh so cool, I was intrigued.   In my crowd a thong was pretty risque and we were quick to talk behind her back.  "OH MY GOD, did you hear Rena wears a thong bikini, in public, you know, at the beach?"  Rumors were flying - she was a Hawaiian Tropic model, a stripper, living with a guy as old as her dad and a drug dealer to boot.  We were dying of curiosity  and smoldering with jealousy.  And then one day it happened.  Propped up in my recliner on the beach I was suddenly  blinded by a white hot light of blond and a blazing pink bikini.  Walking towards me, closer and closer she came....I was holding my breath, it was Rena.  And as she passed by I quickly glanced at her backside.  Oh! Really? Hmmm.   Built into her bikini bottom  was a jagged "jungle style" flap of matching fabric as wide as her ass.  Fluttering in the wind showing bits of her tan butt and conveniently covering her "thong".  So what's the lesson in all of this, shit I don't know, don't be a hater?  She was a nice girl, eventually got busted for being an underage cocktail waitress and did live with a guy about seven years older - drug dealer unconfirmed.  Bottom line, Rena rocked that bikini like no other girl on the beach, she totally owned it.  So, I would like to end my story with  a quote from Sisco, "Let me see that thong, Duh dun duh Duh dun duh Duh dun duh Thong, thong, thong, thong, thong "

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

LOVE - S H A D Y B R A D Y

I love me a cowboy hat just as much as I love me some cowboys.  I would like to think that I started the straw cowboy hat trend in Mill Valley.  I was pimpin my Shady Brady * way before my predecessor.  Just imagine a gaggle of blond, wannabes showing up at every local event all wearing the same hat.  I am not that girl. And once again it was my smart ass brother who pointed this out to me.  "You know Windsor, you look just like Abbey, Leah and Becca (all names have been changed to protect the guilty) in that hat." "Excuse me little brother, I've had this hat for 2 years and I don't look anything like those skanks." His reply was, "you look exactly like them."  So not cool, Ian.  So, I tossed the hat in the back of my truck (only for Ian to take it out and call it his own) and have been going hat less ever since.  A couple of years have gone by and I think it's time to Cowboy up and bring back my hat.  Giddy up bitches.


*hat in photo is not a Shady Brady - my brother still has it!

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

EAT - S A L S A

When it comes to bringing food to the beach, it's gotta be simple.  Right now I am obsessed with corn chips called Have' a corn chip.  At first bite you are like "WOW" these are great, why are these so great?  All your mouth knows is that they're most delicious and then your brain kicks in trying to figure out what the flavor is. It's a  touch of soy sauce and lime - truly unique, I know, right?.  Throw in some mango pineapple salsa, roasted almonds, a little fruit and some cold bottles of water and you've got yourself some good snackin' food for a day at the beach.  And healthy to boot.

Monday, June 6, 2011

BIKINI - S E C R E T S

I've been a bit wary about alluding to my design process or showing my actual fabric prints for my bikini line due to not wanting to be "ripped off."  And after years of working with major retail companies, I am not naive to the fact that everyone steals each other's ideas - point blank. Regardless, what I am doing is still sort of new and unique in the design world and I am not about to do all of the ground work to have some major corporation steal my ideas and dreams, only to have them massed produced in China.  Give me a big fat H E L L  NO! Case in point, Urban Outfitters was just exposed for allegedly stealing independent jewelry designer and Etsy seller Stevie Koerner, pendants called "A World Of Love."  Can you say " R A T   B A S T A R D S?"  I've also had some rather large fashion houses following me on Twitter which makes me wonder, why would they be following me?  As of yet, I am a nobody in the fashion world (not for long though!) what do I have to offer them?  Exactly, MY IDEAS.  Launch party coming in September and until then I will sporadically release teasers for y'all to keep you interested and excited and coming back for bodacious bikini's.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

LOVE - P R E T T Y

What is pretty?  Long eyelashes, ribbons and bows, dew drops, bubbles and babies toes, pretty.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

EAT - W A T E R M E L O N

I know that I have a love hate relationship with watermelon.  I like it's taste as long as it's not too sweet, I don't like it's seeds and I don't like it's juice dribbling down my chin making me a sticky mess.  I am also weird about food combinations.  Watermelon, feta, olives, red onions and mint don't jive in my head as being a tasty combination.  But what does my head know, huh?  It's all about the mouth and taste buds and this salad taste FANTASTIC.  Ice cold watermelon deliciousness with the sweet bite of red onion, brininess of the olives, oh so creamy feta and fresh mint.  This salad is the perfect cool for a hellacious summer day.
Watermelon Salad Recipe

Friday, June 3, 2011

BIKINI - S T A T E O F M I N D

What is a bikini state of mind?  It's a comfortable confidence that the magic of the ocean, sun and sand brings to you.  It's the grandmother rocking her vintage 1970 bikini and not caring that she's not 20 anymore.  The little girls in their first ruffled pink bikini's tickled to death that they get to wear "big girl" suits and the mom who just lugged her 5 kids, beach crap and family dog down to the beach looking frickin amazing for having 5 kids.  As for me, I am always in a bikini state of mind thinking of past bikini's, future bikini's and envisioning myself walking down the beach with the glow of the sun on my shoulders and struttin' the cutest bikini ever.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

LOVE - R A Y B A N S

You name the style and I've had em.  Wayfarer, Cat eye, Aviator.  Me and Ray Bans go together like tequila and lime.   Now that I am thinking about it, I wonder if all of those Tom Cruise movies that I watched as a teenager had anything to do with my love for Ray Bans.  Who can forget Risky Business and Top Gun?  Oh the boys of Top Gun....deep sigh.  Currently I am rocking classic gold rimmed aviators.  Love them cause they make me feel like a rock star - but if you ask my brother he says I look like a "meth head".  He's currently sporting a black eye.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

EAT - F R E N C H T O A S T

I think french toast is frickin' fantastic.  Egg cream soaked bread, fried in golden butter and then slathered with more butter and warm maple syrup drizzled about.  Come on, it can't get better than that can it?  Well I just made it even better.  Close your eyes and imagine ripe banana's sauteed in even more butter, brown sugar and a teeny tiny splash of rum - yea rum for breakfast.  Pour this amazing concoction of awesomeness on top of your already fantastic french toast.  Continue with the butter & syrup theme and finish it off with a little toasted coconut.  Oh yes I did.