Bikini Quotes

Conquering the world one bikini at a time

Sunday, June 12, 2011


Imagine if you will a barren dirt filled, rock clustered backyard with a lone picnic table.  A most desolate undesirable location, but it had hours of sun.  I was a mere teenager seeking the ultimate summer tan. Practically born an albino minus the light eyes - mine are the most dazzling  shade of hazel thank you very much.  Daily I'd trudge down to the backyard with sun tan oil, book and boom box.  I climbed up onto the rickity old picnic table and basked in the hot sun for 1 hour (that was all I could take).  I did a half hour flip from front to back in hopes of turning my winter white skin into a deep dark island tan.  Red is what I was.  Red as a lobster, so not the color I was looking for.  I blamed my English and Irish ancestors, why couldn't we be "black Irish" I wailed in despair.  By the end of the summer I had tan lines - not really a tan but tanner than I had ever been.  September came, school started and I was feeling pretty sun kissed when I heard from behind me "look how white her skin is."  And there sat behind me the two "perfect" girls, (mean girls I might add) with their perfect summer tans.  I cursed them under my breath like any 7th grade girl would, turned around,  looked them in the eye and said "at least I am not a candidate for skin cancer."  Hmmp!


  1. You sound like me! I never liked those girls.. I love to have a tan, but too tan is kind of disgusting anyway.

    xo katie elizabeth

  2. Hey Katie - I totally agree, too much tan in U G L Y - and mean girls
    S U C K!

  3. Don't forget your sunscreen darling!

  4. Im with you.. mean girls SUCK - and too tan and orange is disgusting. A light summer sunshine kissed color is much more attractive.. and healthier!!

    So this is what I say to those orangey, too tan, fake girls... ┌П┐ (•‘_′•)┌П┐ hahahaa!!

    Sorry I had to ;)