LOVE - N A P S

sweet afternoon slumber in a warm cocoon of hazy sunlit dreams.

EAT - J E L L - O S H O T S

Hell yeah, now that's what I am talking about.  Good old fashion white trash Jell-O shots.  It's party season and I almost forgot about these glistening jiggly alcohol packed cups o' fun.  Gone are the days of adding vodka and  rum  to cherry or blueberry Jell-O.  Hold onto your bikini's ladies - Jell-O shots have become sophisticated.  Yeah I said it - "sophisticated." Take classic cocktail recipes and incorporate them into pretty,  Jell-O shots acceptable for a  wedding.  Personally,  I am not really looking for sophisticated when it comes to this delicious treat.  My goal is to pull the classic Jell-O shot out of the trailer park and onto the beach. So, I did a little research, found many awesome websites that had recipes and finally settled on a Pina Colada Jell-O Shot.  Let me warn you, this little wiggly jiggly morsel of tropical tastiness  packs quite the punch.  Slurp with caution!

Pina Colada Jell-O Shot Recipe
3 oz package of Tropical Fusion Jell-o
1 Cup sweetened Coconut Milk
1 Cup Malibu Rum
Dixie Cups or small plastic shot glasses ( I found mine at the Dollar Tree)
Cooking Spray

Directions:  Bring coconut milk to a boil, add Jell-O and stir until dissolved.  Let cool to room temperature.  When cooled add Malibu Rum.  Spray Dixie cups with cooking spray, fill each cup to top.
Refrigerate for 2 - 3 hours

Notes:  The original recipe called for Pineapple Jell-O - I could not find Pineapple Jell-O to save my life so I substituted it with the Tropical Fusion.  Also, the recipe indicated that the coconut milk would separate into a layer, which I thought was cool, but didn't happen. If it works for you Hooray!



Jell-O Shots (Recipe II)[5 cups]
3 oz. pkg Pineapple Jell-O
1 cup canned, unsweetened coconut milk
1 cup Malibu
Bring the coconut milk to a boil. Add to Jell-O and stir till dissolved. Allow to cool to room temperature. Stir in the Malibu. Pour into cups and chill. The Jell-O will separate into layers, with the coconut milk rising to the top.

BIKINI - T A N L I N E S

Imagine if you will a barren dirt filled, rock clustered backyard with a lone picnic table.  A most desolate undesirable location, but it had hours of sun.  I was a mere teenager seeking the ultimate summer tan. Practically born an albino minus the light eyes - mine are the most dazzling  shade of hazel thank you very much.  Daily I'd trudge down to the backyard with sun tan oil, book and boom box.  I climbed up onto the rickity old picnic table and basked in the hot sun for 1 hour (that was all I could take).  I did a half hour flip from front to back in hopes of turning my winter white skin into a deep dark island tan.  Red is what I was.  Red as a lobster, so not the color I was looking for.  I blamed my English and Irish ancestors, why couldn't we be "black Irish" I wailed in despair.  By the end of the summer I had tan lines - not really a tan but tanner than I had ever been.  September came, school started and I was feeling pretty sun kissed when I heard from behind me "look how white her skin is."  And there sat behind me the two "perfect" girls, (mean girls I might add) with their perfect summer tans.  I cursed them under my breath like any 7th grade girl would, turned around,  looked them in the eye and said "at least I am not a candidate for skin cancer."  Hmmp!

LOVE - G I G G L E S

Giggles - unexpected, belly gut, pee in your pants, can't stop, contagious, infectious, queasy, light headed, rolling on the floor, tear streaming, quivering fits of giggles.

EAT - C O C O N U T

 Anyway, like I was sayin', coconut is the fruit of the islands. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. Dey's uh, coconut-kabobs, coconut creole, coconut gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There's coconut shrimp, coconut cream pie, coconut milk, coconut ice cream, coconut pancakes, coconut rice, coconut water, coconut cocktails.  If it has coconut in it I am all over it, eat it, slather it, lather it, rub it, drink it.  I am C U C K O O  for coconut.  No really, I am serious.  I seriously can't get enough of it.  Now here are some coconut facts:  Coconut oil has been found to heal cuts, scratches, burns and sunburns. Coconut oil has also been reported to be good as a wrinkle remover and is does amazing things for your  scalp and hair.  And last but not least coconut water is good for kidney and urinary bladder problems.  Got coconut? 

BIKINI - T H O N G

Did you know that thong bikini's are almost always designed to cover the genitals, pubic hair, anus, and perineum, and leave part or most of the buttocks uncovered?  Nice descriptive words huh?  Very clinical.  I'll never forget the first time I saw a "thong" bikini.  I knew this chick named Rena - she was an underage cocktail waitress from some exotic state - maybe Florida.  She was cool and rumor had it she wore a "thong" bikini to the beach.  Tan, blond and oh so cool, I was intrigued.   In my crowd a thong was pretty risque and we were quick to talk behind her back.  "OH MY GOD, did you hear Rena wears a thong bikini, in public, you know, at the beach?"  Rumors were flying - she was a Hawaiian Tropic model, a stripper, living with a guy as old as her dad and a drug dealer to boot.  We were dying of curiosity  and smoldering with jealousy.  And then one day it happened.  Propped up in my recliner on the beach I was suddenly  blinded by a white hot light of blond and a blazing pink bikini.  Walking towards me, closer and closer she came....I was holding my breath, it was Rena.  And as she passed by I quickly glanced at her backside.  Oh! Really? Hmmm.   Built into her bikini bottom  was a jagged "jungle style" flap of matching fabric as wide as her ass.  Fluttering in the wind showing bits of her tan butt and conveniently covering her "thong".  So what's the lesson in all of this, shit I don't know, don't be a hater?  She was a nice girl, eventually got busted for being an underage cocktail waitress and did live with a guy about seven years older - drug dealer unconfirmed.  Bottom line, Rena rocked that bikini like no other girl on the beach, she totally owned it.  So, I would like to end my story with  a quote from Sisco, "Let me see that thong, Duh dun duh Duh dun duh Duh dun duh Thong, thong, thong, thong, thong "

LOVE - S H A D Y B R A D Y

I love me a cowboy hat just as much as I love me some cowboys.  I would like to think that I started the straw cowboy hat trend in Mill Valley.  I was pimpin my Shady Brady * way before my predecessor.  Just imagine a gaggle of blond, wannabes showing up at every local event all wearing the same hat.  I am not that girl. And once again it was my smart ass brother who pointed this out to me.  "You know Windsor, you look just like Abbey, Leah and Becca (all names have been changed to protect the guilty) in that hat." "Excuse me little brother, I've had this hat for 2 years and I don't look anything like those skanks." His reply was, "you look exactly like them."  So not cool, Ian.  So, I tossed the hat in the back of my truck (only for Ian to take it out and call it his own) and have been going hat less ever since.  A couple of years have gone by and I think it's time to Cowboy up and bring back my hat.  Giddy up bitches.


*hat in photo is not a Shady Brady - my brother still has it!